My Complaint to Malt O Meal:

To Whom it May Concern,

For many years now I have been plagued every time I go to the grocery store. There it is, the cereal isle, taunting me, tempting me with its delicious products. Above all, the large bags of cereal made by Malt O Meal dance in my mind, reminding me of my childhood days (or mornings, as they may have been). But wait. As I go to turn down the isle to pick up my Frosted Flakes, Frosted Mini Spooners, or Berry Colossal Crunch, I am suddenly stopped. No, not by the other cart that rushes out of nowhere (demonstrating the need for four way stops in grocery stores, a topic for another time). Rather, my mind abruptly cries out, "No! Not again!" My body obeys, unable to handle the stress of yet again another bag breaking.

It wasn't always this way. There used to be a time in which I could open Malt O Meal cereal bags and the bag would just stop where it was supposed to. But these days are long gone. Now, every time I open a bag of sugary goodness, the bag tears open past where it ought. At best, the bag is no longer "resealable". At worst, the bag tears down the back, cereal launching entropically across the table, down to the floor. Quickly, I scramble to remedy the situation. Gallon Zip-Loc bags are procured, filled, and stored until the proper time.

What could cause this great disturbance and impede my attempts to relive my childhood days? One may postulate that now, as a grown being, I do not know my own strength. However, it seems more likely that a change was made to the zipper a few years back (likely to keep costs as good as they are). This change should be remedied. Soon. I like cereal. And I like it in bags. But I can't buy cereal if I'm going to have to play 52 pickup every time I open a bag. You know?